After 30 years...

Actually not 30 years. Sebenarnya aku malas nak kira. Tapi takpe, aku kira sekarang

5-6 years?

Maybe. Maybe it has been 5-6 years since I last went to this place. I felt so like a school kid again because I usually went there right after school, in my school uniform, selekeh and all, with the biasiswa money I took from BSN nearby.

I so missed my old self. I miss how I used to be.

And I miss my friends.

I went inside Soon Seng Plaza because I needed to go to the toilet. I was so overwhelmed by the samenessessity, a word which here means the fact that nothing much has changed or nothing at all changed since the last time you went to a place or saw something including its smell and the way it makes you feel inside. You can tell I made that word up.

I felt like 15 again. Well I actually felt like 14, 15, 16 and 17 again at the same time.

the same bench

the same sports shop with the same-looking basketballs that I used to admire and wished to buy like crazy because I love basketball like crazy that I drank a litre of milk almost everyday and jumped rope 1000 times almost everyday in the hopes of becoming taller because I wanted to become an All-Star NBA player and I watched NBA All Stars every Saturday & Sunday morning and would get emotional if I missed it and I love Houston Rockets so much that I cried and dubbed my eraser Tyronn Lue. That is when I was 16. Or 14 I can't remember.

and this same store with the same goods

I wonder how long have they been sitting there

the same this

the same SOJO

selling the same SOJO things

the same Guardian with the same McDonald's smell from the McDonald's next to it

the same toilet with the same sound of water gushing from the broken pipe in the same stall

Over the years, I have grown fond of this bridge. Maybe I should call it "My Favourite Bridge (MFB)"

Now let us tread lightly on the stairs to go to the other side.

it's so clean and beggar-free

It's gonna be too long so I'll continue in my next post like anybody cares.

My Online Fashion Store.

Woohoo! Check out my online fashion store!
It's called BE MINE because I loooooooove Infinite.

So if you are into the following styles;

Click here and SHOP NOW!

Thank you

All my life, I've received a lot of help from the people around me, especially my friends. And most of the time, I had failed to remember their kind gestures or even who they are. It's not because I didn't appreciate what they do, rather I forgot to show my appreciation, if appreciation to them means to constantly call or text or go hang out together at the mall. It's not because I didn't care but rather, I forgot to care

because my family's like this and my parents are like this and we are living like this

and I'm coping with everything and my head hurts a lot and my heart hurts a lot.

Maybe they (my friends) resent me for being so detached but they must know, not everyone is living a perfect life like they do. What you see on the surface doesn't always reflect what's on the inside. You may hate me for always going up to you to ask for more help but you must know I hate it that I have to live like this.

And to have someone to lean on to once in a while after being pressed down hard for several weeks and months is such a relief that I can't put into words.

My "thank you" may sound like just another "thank you" you get from a cashier in the supermarket but believe me, if I can illustrate it, it would be as vast as the sky.

I don't care if you hate me because I am always thankful to have a friend like you. 

And I may forget but God doesn't.

Sedih

I am babysitting Suri right now. I see her pretty much everyday so it's not a problem babysitting this one but she keeps calling me like every 2 seconds to say words that she just heard/learned from tv/videos and to show me some actions that she just learned how to do and to ask me to watch the tv and bla bla bla.

"Akak, akak.."

She's 2 years old. Baru belajar cakap, that's why.

Semalam was the day I moaned under my breath, in front of the tv when I learned that DeHanMinGook gave their princess' robes and knights' hats and royal cushion and many more of their historical traditional royal garments to America. They said something like "Even we don't have the likes in our own country". I moaned so hard. And when the whole show ended, I was still moaning.. while thinking whether or not should I eat instant noodles for lunch. And when Star Date started, I cried even more when I saw so many people gathered just to see this one actor at a station in S.K... because I was so overwhelmed. I don't know why did they have to give everything to migook saram I just don't understand that I was and still am very much disappointed and frustrated why why why why why did you give them your hanbok for them to keep in their museum and wear their clothes whyyyyyy

Now you must be wondering what have you just read

It's 12.22pm and I'm sleepy.

Suri.

My Beauty Appreciation Post.

우리 특별한, 사랑한 Wolf!

I really think he looks like Gaara in Naruto with that red hair.
I really think he's beautiful.
Forgive me for posting this.

What is this

People with blogs, blog. What am I doing?
Why did I delete my previous precious blog without thinking through and through? What was I thinking hah I wrote super brilliant stuff back then now how am I supposed to retrieve em all back when this laptop had collapsed before you see there's no good in being "impulsive" or "spontaneous" for heaven's sake what's so "exhilirating" and "electrifying" if you do things that you'll deffffinitely gonna regret laterrrr omg demmit asha think haaaarrd before doing something don't just jump into whatever like a mindless 5-year-old think think think think

On the other hand, here's a picture of a group of people singing a line of verse that says "oh attracted to you"

why thank you I love you too

thiskeyoarmiserale.bdismakimylife ng b

Actually I have, by this time, forgotten what I wanted to write about in the first place.

And my keyboard is driving me crazy.
So I guess I'll just type anything that pops in my mind.

I'm waiting for Blimey Cow's August Photo-A-Day because their July Photo-A-Day was exciting but I didn't get to do it as I only found it out a couple of days ago. It'd be excellent if I have the kinda camera that produce photos like the ones on flickr.

And I hate answering phone calls I just let one rang itself into oblivion this morning (and on many other mornings too).

And I really think I deserve someone kindest, sweetest, loveliest, dandiest as a husband. I won't settle for less. Toldya I'd type anything that pops in my mind.

And my mind is, at this very moment, experiencing fatigue already. I'm tired. But not really. Writing is very nice I should post stuff more often in here.

And last but not in any way least, here is a picture bearing some very kind words which I had put my fragile trust upon, from the brother I never had.

Why are you not my biological brother, Jordan?

Because most of the time I just have my own self to confide about the future to.

Because sometimes, I forgot that God is always here by my side.

P/S: One should read this post with a low voice, never with the kinda voice that shows one is excited or giddy. Btw, this rule applies to every post in this blog, now that I have the chance to say it.

Outing

Aku crossed path dengan sorang budak SBP sekolah lelaki kat area Putrajaya. Dia pegi outing sorang-sorang. Sedih aku tengok.

Minum air tin F&N sambil tunggu bas kat Putrajaya Sentral.

Aku harap budak tu cepat dapat kawan. Dapat kawan yang baik-baik.
Amin.

Last time

A Quick Something

I dream of starting a new blog once I become a student again in the future almost everyday that this blog had fallen somewhere by the wayside.

Mathematics, I want to study mathematics because I despise plays and komsas.

Omg komsas.

3 Pretty Boys and 1 Little Girl

Abang Amy, Abang Hafiz, Abang Iki and me.

I followed them down the street one afternoon and I wonder now whether this vague memory of them asking me to go home instead is something that really happened or not. They let me follow anyway. We stood at the foot of a small hill, side by side.

"Aisyah nanti kitorang dah pegi sekolah, Aisyah balik rumah tau."

"Ok."

The van came by and they waved at me, saying goodbye very loudly over a racket of noisy school children. And they were smiling.

I went straight home. I supposed they were worried.

And that one particular memory is the only memory with them I've always remembered. 

Ape Man.

"But I am very poorly today and very stupid and hate everybody and everything."

Something that Charles Darwin wrote in a letter dated October 1, 1861 which perfectly describes what I feel everyday.

Bad Person.

I have this habit of editing stuff that I've written over and over again.

And I have yet to come up with a nice enough name for our new kitty.

And I really must learn to control my hands so as not to struck or hurt my sister again.
I'm a bad person.

And I'm kinda exhausted.

Lembaga Pengecat.

We have been pretty-fying the house all week for abang's wedding.

I meant the colour, not me.

See. Pretty innit?

Bukti kekerasan bekerja seorang pekerja keras

Upah. Jeles an elehhhh :P

I wished to help by giving money hence had been worrying my head and heart sick over finding a job for the  past three weeks, if not more. After resigning from ATFW, I didn't really go to find myself a job. Well, actually I did but something else had happened. Something I don't really care anymore about.

But instead of helping by giving money, I get the chance to help in making the ceremony a nice and successful one, inshaa Allah, by lending a couple of helping hands, and legs. A helping perfectionist personality too, if I must say. I had helped by painting the walls, and scrubbing the floors clean so far, something which is far better than giving money. I get to immortalise my effort for my brother's wedding ceremony on the walls in the form of pink (if not purple), blue and peach paints, at least until they're repainted in a couple of years' time. I swear I'm really happy for being able to do the things that mother wanted me to. I hope I get some very good remarks in my record book for doing that. God has helped me to get some good records with His arrangements. Subhan Allahi wa bihamdihi.

And I think my right hand had become bigger somehow.

And to those people, I pray that God will punish all of you in this life for doing bad things to other people. Thank you.

Jaga-jaga, lembaga pengecat berkeliaran di kejiranan  anda!

Amendments.

I hate how I used to sound. And I made some "amendments" in some of my last posts because God, how I hate how I used to sound.

Maybe that's why God made me stop writing in the first place. Because I kept sounding terrible and people were probably terrified. Ahah

And using "aku" does make me sound impolite. Somewhat rude. Improper.

Why did I even -

Why did I even stop writing?
WHHHYYYY?